Get a Job, Hippie

Okay, so stunningly enough, this week I didn’t have anything swirling round my head, mainly because I’m listening to A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin. It’s been sort of backburner-ed for a while there. As well, my backup harddrive died, so all of my audio files on that – I haven’t been listening to them. Hence, no swirling. On top of that? I deep fried my finger, as I mentioned in the True Blood post. I was almost finished typing this one when it happened. I’m typing a few final touches with my ouchie finger now.

So I thought I’d get to one of the questions that I saved in a little text file that was asked after Deadlocked was released. And that is this one:

Does Eric have the cajones to give up his sheriffdom and get a ‘real’ job,
perhaps, a job in real estate just like in that dream Sookie had?

The short answer is “No”. But that’s not what this LJ is for – it’s for the long and tortuous answer explaining why “No”. It’s not a PMR post if you don’t take the long way round and prove your reasoning.

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The End is Nigh

So, I didn’t know about this – but apparently a couple of people have been waiting to hear what I have to say about the spoilers we’ve gotten about Dead Ever After. I am apparently a terrible tease. In truth, I had a bit of a debate with myself about the ethics of looking into further book content. After all – I figure stuff out from the leisure of my desk, over a year, with no pressure, that just leads some of the sillier fandom members to say one of two things – that CH’s plots are simplistic and expected; and that Sookie is stupid not to figure it out. Neither of those are true, but the more things are figured out, the more CH and Sookie get it in the neck. I can assure you, I don’t sit down to figure this stuff out over the course of two weeks, while involved in vampire, were, fairy and human machinations. I debated whether posting stuff in public for chat would lead stupid people to say stupid things. But after the sad little posts I got from people hanging out, I’ll just have to assume in my favour – that stupid people will say stupid things no matter what I post. But if you do after reading this, then figure it out on your own in future, in two weeks, while involved in something complex and life threatening, like trying to become top dog in a maximum security prison.

Since this will be the first (of probably many) spoilery posts, it’ll have a new tag – omg omg dead ever after! – so if you want to avoid spoilers, you can avoid posts tagged with this. And now, onto the spoilers, which I shall steal from PM – which is where I got them. It’s good having a network. 😀 Thanks to Ooshka for the spoiler – she rocks. It was almost as good as going myself – which I didn’t because I figured other people would. Thank her for not being a piker like me.

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Foot Fetishist In Da House

I looked over at my husband during this episode – the lovely and adorable Mr. Minty – and he was picking a hair off his jacket. Yeah, he’s real invested in this show – it’s fucking riveting. We also had a chat about the fact that Anna Paquin is pregnant – mostly because I winced in that first scene when she fell over. I know she would have been protected, and not in any danger, but you just kinda can’t help it, you know? It doesn’t help that it’s fairly obvious just how pregnant she is.

I’d also like to note that there are now all these references to toes in the show – I heard toes twice tonight – once about Mike Spencer, and once about the ex-wife who named her toes or whatever. Geez – they’re so bored and inattentive they’re letting the foot fetishist put their two cents in.
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Really No H8?

I’m ridiculously behind this week – I’ve been busy with other things – and this is really short – so maybe I’ll have time to make another short one soon. I have yet to review all the stories I loved for I Write The Songs – I am completely crap – so many spankings. In fact, this week, the story I just reviewed will be the first story I’m gonna review when I get my arse into gear. This post is weighing on my mind, so I want to get rid of it and I plan to do a post on the construction of women looking at fanfiction too. So if you dislike meta and a little bit of ranting, then turn asunder.

I’m very pleased with my family this week. Very pleased. I’ve spoken – I think – before, about my eldest son doing homeless van. If I haven’t, he does – he gets up at 4.40am on some Fridays before school and goes out to a feed-the-homeless van, and helps out. At the moment he’s in Year 11, the workload is greater and they have plenty of volunteers, but he’s been doing it for three or four years now, so I don’t expect him to be Superman and do everything all at once.

My youngest son impressed me this week too. On the weekend, without any prompting from anyone, he went along to an LGBT rally. He’s about as heterosexual as you can get, but he believes in equal rights, and he thinks it’s the right thing to do. I’m personally really pleased about it, as I’ve always told the boys they should be accepting of others. In my dissolute youth, I was the first person one of my gay friends came out to, and I supported him all the way. So gay rights has meant a lot to me, even though I’m not gay – it’s part of the whole feminism/left view of the world I have.

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Needs MOAR Wang

This week’s highlight of the episode happened on my couch, not on my TV. When Mr. Minty has to look at naked men or wang, and particularly hairy arses, he gets distressed. A great majority of True Blood’s viewership is held to their screens by nudity. So Mr. Minty reeled back at the sight of SMoyer’s butt, ASkars butt, and many other butts. So this week’s opening wang had him going “Argh! Do they have to show that?” When I pointed out this was hypocritical, and that he doesn’t reel back when there’s naked women, he just looked at me like I was huffing something. So I then said “So what’s going to be your reaction to seeing boobs onscreen in future?” Mr. Minty finished the argument with “That there’s not enough of them.” I’m considering making him a desktop with a pair of boobs, and a wang photoshopped between them. So he’s compelled to look, and also horrified to look – see how he likes them apples. I shall report back if I do it.

Each week as the show goes on, I find myself bored with the storyline merry-go-round. Nothing really changes, and they’re not saying much. But at least they’re saying nothing lots. Most of the relationship chat – and there’s such a lot of it – is so empty and devoid of context. None of the characters even move forward and say more – they don’t continue their lives and show the legacy of the effects – they virtually wallow in the past, and with shit I’ve heard already.  But at least I can argue with my husband over pointless shit and plan plans to traumatise him.
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Illusion of Control

No spankings this week for me. I’m on time, and on my best behaviour (relative to the PMR standard of behaviour though). I actually wanted to share a funny link this week that I got sent – Straw Feminists – a hilarious take on the Straw Man argument technique. The comic is a hilarious depiction of the notion that all feminists are ball breaking bitches who want to kill men and destroy the world. I know I’ve had that one levelled at me, and I’m sure some of my commenters have too.

One of the things that seemingly became ultra-important in the latest book – at least for a subset of fanfic – is the Super!Sookie phenomenon. It was all born of the appearance of Mr. Cataliades, and wanting to get Sookie to handle her telepathy. I think this is a relatively shallow look to take at the idea – and I don’t think the mystical time when Sookie’s telepathy will be handled will ever happen. This is really about the hope that people have, and the illusion of control that people fall into.

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Eric’s Price of Life is A Couple Hundred Dead Babies

Just in case you missed it, there was also a post I posted (posted posting) yesterday which covers much about hair fluffing and power. I was late this week with my SVM, and I’ve spanked myself and told myself never again. I’m probably a liar, and I’m sure I’ll have to chastise myself again before the year is out. Bad me. Now that the ritual whipping is done, onto True Blood. What am I saying? That whipping is nowhere near as bad as watching this show. I’m clearly too easy on myself.
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Test of a Prince

Sorry this one is a little late – I’ve been fighting acute anaemia. That means tiredness and falling asleep, and steak three times this week and being severely behind in this reviewing and replying business. Plus, it’s bloody cold here at the moment for me, so that means more reasons to snuggle with Mr. Minty. Also, I got my hair cut this week, and have to stop and brush/fluff it. It went from waist length to the cute hairstyle Buffy got. It is so cute right now, I love it. My hairdresser is fucking wonderful – I love him – I say “layered” as my only requirement (PMR has natural Shirley Temple curls to her chagrin, and the delight of my mother), and I’ve never been unhappy with the result. But enough about my raving about what I think about my hair (gorgeous!) and onto more interesting stuff.

So to what inspired this post and got me thinking. It was actually a quote somewhere else on the net that I frequent (different username, don’t bother to look) that really piqued me on this subject – and such an interesting quote it is too:

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
Abraham Lincoln

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Next time, I want SMoyer piggybacking Askars

His long legs hanging over Bill? Worth watching way more. So to the weekly ravings about how much True Blood sucks. I didn’t hear many spoilers this week of substance, beyond What the fuck? It’s hard to say what that sort of spoiler means, really. And unfortunately, it was a direct contrast this week – Breaking Bad Season Five premiered right before True Blood, in whose characters I am totally invested. So True Blood suffered for the comparison, because Breaking Bad is damn good television. I am in love with Gus Fring, who has all the qualities of the best SVM vampires – twisty, manipulative, clever and very measured. Not only that, but Breaking Bad actually deals with disabilities in a good way – while True Blood deals with them without a lick of understanding. If you want to watch a cool fanvid for Breaking Bad to see if you’ll like it, this one is pretty fucking awesome.

The blocking was better this week, but I’m curious now to see whether it’s just an Alan Ball issue. So I’ll have to stick around for the finale. They pulled the shots up tight in Fangtasia so that it didn’t look empty this time. Last week’s director was shit. This is a comparison from last week’s shot – this is a proper shot so that your rooms don’t look half empty and so you can’t see a whole swathe of floor.

Same amount of extras, a damn sight better shot. This is how blocking should be done – but like continuity of story, True Blood is probably going to be shaky on cinematography too.
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Licence to Kill

This post is more of that academic analysis that some people hate. Mr. Minty is just happy I’m inflicting it on someone or something other than him. An oft-complaint in our house is “Must you question everything?!?” Living with an academic can be a chore, I tell you. And Mr. Minty will certainly tell you – loudly, and often. But Sookie and Eric can’t complain, so I can do it to them at any time. They won’t tell me I’ve ruined the moment.

Before I start, just a bit of writing advice. I sometimes see academics or people who’ve done postgraduate research written about in fanfic. They’re usually written pretty badly, and with the outside view of them. For a start, the character might seem smart to the populace, but they aren’t very smart at all. Unfortunately, they’re usually written about by someone who’s never done any research and sometimes by people who probably didn’t do so well at university, if they went at all. They certainly don’t have an open minded, pitbull approach to anything. You can’t replace actual smart with picking up trivia tidbits on the internet and just inserting them into the character’s speech. Or rather, you can, but you’ll only fool people stupider than you. Anyone who’s smarter than you will see through your character in a heartbeat.

Being inside the academic brain is very different to others…well, if you think Sookie questions too many sacred things – like the blood bond – she hasn’t got anything on the academic brain. It’s all about questions and analysis. Nothing is sacred. My advice is to write someone who is as smart as you, and as well educated as you are. You’ll do better at it – it’ll be authentic. Don’t write someone with a speciality for sure. We’re weird creatures – and it’s not the education that produces it – it’s something inborn. Academia just gives it guidance. Our brains seize on things and question them – which is why we naturally have a series of questions at the end of undergraduate degrees, and think that we might like to do research at the end. Then it can’t be just casual “I wonder” questions either – it requires the dedication of writing (to start with) about 20,000 words on the same subject. I had about twenty questions I really wanted answered when I was at the end of undergrad. I chose only one. If I was offered vampirism, this would be the only drawcard – an immortal life to spend researching shit in every single instance I wish. But onto the boring academic type post.

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