People Losing Their Damn Minds

Oh my god. The melodrama, rants and insanity. If you’re not a spoilers type person, I would hope you are well away from the internet now, because people are losing their damn minds about the spoilers and just posting them anywhere. Including at random on CH’s facebook page. I’m going to warn you here, and put it behind the cut. Don’t read if you don’t know the spoilers, and don’t keep going if you don’t want to hear frank discussion of the spoilers…and the reaction to those spoilers.

TURN ASUNDER NOW LITTLE COMRADE NON-SPOILARATCHIKS

Well, if you’ve been watching any of this drama, you’ll have seen people losing their damn minds, which luckily hasn’t been happening here. It’s good to be small and smelly and out of the way, because that means zero mind-losing in my comments. I got an email today with more fleshed out details on the spoilers, and I have to say, these sound legit. Still don’t be one hundred percent relying on them though – remember – no one cried over Bobby.

Of course, now there’s all kinds of resulting drama, including calls for fanfiction. Well, if that’s what you want, there’s fucking plenty of E/S fanfic. Some of it’s good, but much of it is where Sookie is bashed according to what the writer wants. I’m sure that the fanfics that come out now (Fanfic.net is down for me right now) will really hammer the poor girl into the ground, and probably have some random Southern writer being injured or killed. Which is kinda scary, but this fandom has had members I’ve read previously who threatened to go to CH’s house and burn it down.

What I will say though, is that I’ve read it a few times in comments and on RF forum where I go to chat without having to write lotsa words. It is unfair to get spoiled and then complain there’s no build up. Duh. You skipped to the end. Of course there’s no freaking build up. That’s like watching Gone with the Wind, establishing the characters, pausing the movie, hearing that Rhett leaves Scarlet, and then complaining that there’s no build up. Well, duh, you just skipped ahead 3 hours dude. Of course there isn’t.

I’m going to share what was emailed to me under a further spoiler cut – just so if you don’t want to know more details, you can choose not to read. I trust you all not to lose your damn minds in my comments, but if there are any lurking CH haters or Sookie haters who came here to rage and blame, please don’t. You all have the rest of the fandom. I’m still looking forward to the end and how this all plays out.

SORRY WORDPRESS PEEPS. YOU’LL HAVE TO COME TO MY JOURNAL FOR THIS BIT. WP DOESN’T HAVE A SPOILER TAG. I DON’T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY SPOIL YOU. Here.

Now, I have far more than this, that actually spoils most of the plot. I just put the minimal and relevant things up here so that you could see the relevant bits. If you want more than these pertinent details, email me at peppermintyrosepmr@gmail.com and I’ll give you the full screed. Be aware, it will tell you about all the other sub-plots etc.  Most of you here have ma email, so just think about whether you want to know all these details. I personally never mind because it’s always been about the twisty turny ways to get there. The nuances etc.

I would note too that there’s a lot of talk about how Eric is raped and a slave because he married Freyda. Ain’t nothing about that in these spoilers. Considering the quote of what Pam said, and the two spoilers above it, well, that’s a fucking radical interpretation of the text, and part of the whole St. Eric phenomenon. Just cause you don’t want him to marry Freyda doesn’t mean it’s not in the text that he was willing. As I’ve pointed out before, sounds like Eric has more of a choice – even Eric talks about it as a choice. I think he chose wrong, but it’s not as if he didn’t have clear choices on what to be – and hence the angst and delay.

And just to end it on a happier note, here’s my mockup (that I sent to a friend of mine) of what people think the ending should look like. Coming to a million fucking fanfics soon:

He has not only the sword from his time, but the penis he had from that time, and also grew. It became so big that it was like a giant penis, and it conferred all kinds of benefits on Sookie, which she tossed to the floor when she forced him to marry Freyda. And then his father Odin, and his brother Loki, and his ex-wife Frigga came down to Earth, and they said “You can’t leave him. You’re going to have fairy babies together. Fairy babies. TWINS no less. And they will happily stay in their room when you want to bone, and only cry at 5pm when you can bring them out for show and tell to the guests”. So then Sookie lay down at Eric’s feet and kissed them, and apologised for thinking only of herself, and couldn’t wait for when she had the babies.
Then the AP came and said “Sook, Eric is like my dude. You gotta do it with him in front of the vampire nation. Otherwise, no one would know he banged you, and his dudes wouldn’t believe him” and then she magicked up the dudes who were all 5000 super powerful, super old, super skilled warriors. And they looked at Sookie and her charming simper and said “Chick needs to be Queen. We bow before you.” And then they sat around, lusting over Sookie until Eric came in and threatened one of them with death for looking in the general direction of Sookie’s breath. So they overtook Louisiana, Nevada, and some other states, including the one I live in, and made them King and Queen forever. Sookie promptly turned so she could be the proper vampire queen, and everybody loved them. Vampires would walk arm in arm with Tara and every single cool friend Sookie has. And Pam would spy at night through the screen in their window so she could witness the kinkiness and beauty of their love.
Damn. I think I have read this before, both as many, many fanfics, and as a terrible book. Although as my friend pointed out I totally skipped the spanking and the juices parts. Which you should probably be thankful for. Don’t say I don’t do anything for you. 😀
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