Let the Squeeing Commence

Yay I read Deadlocked! I haven’t gotten my print copy yet, but it’s waiting at the post office. I have both electronic versions – ebook and audio.  I always like to listen to the audio version on the train going to work – I get major travel sickness, so the audio version helps me to speculate instead of vomit. It’s the PMR way. Speaking of work, I did a bang up job for someone who got three hours sleep thanks to reading this book – I was up until 4am doing a straight through. And then I had to leave this post due to work – and I’m still excited after 36 or so hours. I loved the book – big surprise, right?

Just so you know, anyone who hates Sookie, hates CH – or even hates me – can fuck right off. If you’ve said something nasty and petty about either Sookie or CH, fuck right off. I don’t want you commenting here. I don’t want you reading here. I don’t want to read your whining about how Sookie is crap, so just go away. I know I can’t stop you – and you have no honour if you’re still reading here, right? Because that’s part of the reason I hate you and your ilk – but I’m nowhere near as nice as CH, and will tell you to fuck off. But just know, even though I may never have spoken to you, you’re lower than a snake’s belly to me, and not welcome here. This is the time of year where I wish you would disappear off the face of the Earth and never return. I don’t write this journal for you, so, as I said, fuck right off. And if you continue to read this post, point proven about your lack of honour, and I do hope you’re ashamed of yourself, and know you’re a bad person. You should have red Xed by now, and made us both happy.

Now that the people I’ve come to hate with the burning fires of a thousand suns have left….SQUEEEEE! It was so good. I loved it lots.

Firstly, Pam. Oh Pam has the best lines. First “Fuck a zombie” and then “I’ll bet you a demon’s dick” – two phrases that are wonderful and wonderfully Pam. I’m glad that Pam didn’t leave after Miriam died. I was happy as a clam to see Pam around. And Eric not beating the living tar out of her. Notice there was no blib blab blib Meet the Sun blah for Pam. Maybe fanfic Eric’s a bigger wussy than Pam too, uh?

Eric was doing okay – and yes, I’m still confident he’s HEA guy. I actually had a little squee over something brilliant that impacted their relationship – but I want to re-read just once and focus on what was going on there. That’ll be my first post going on there because I know that’s the most desperate want of some of my favourite commenters. I actually fist pumped Sookie hanging the fuck up on Eric when he was being an arse, and telling him off when he was being an arse. Because he was an arse – as per usual. Just like I say – Eric is sometimes a royal dick. And his Royal Dickishness made another appearance this book. Which is in character, and part and parcel of the man she loves, so I shake my head at the denial of his nature.

Hated Alcide….again. I never saw what the hell anyone saw in the man. First he gets half his father’s company to do a solid for Sookie, and then leaves her on a barroom floor with a stake through her side, and totally ignores her rape – until it’s convenient for him. God, I’m so glad Sookie only ever thought about him as a suitor and didn’t give that stink pig one moment of her romantic lifetime. Then this book, he’s all – as Sookie said – Werewolf Manipulators Anonymous. I wish Jannalynn had slashed him and Sookie kicked him in the ribs as he died. I think I’ll have to do a post at some stage, and vent my spleen at that man. By GOD I hate him.

Sookie was just…wonderful. She hardened up, just like I wanted her to, put her foot down, drew her line in the sand, and then saved Sam. I was ecstatic that that’s what she used the cluviel dor for – for Sam. To make him live. Not only that, but she was all loving her humans. Favourite bit in the whole book:

I felt (as usual with the supes) two steps behind the crowd, and no telepath
enjoys feeling that way. I was going to have to hang around with humans
for a long time to make up for this sad ignorance.

Deadlocked, p. 99

Lol – she is so funny. I just love her. And I loved her with Zen Master Fang, and when she thought about sitting on Mustapha’s chest until he gave up his secrets, and when she was commenting internally on the bizarre and often ludicrous statements of Bill and Eric. Adored her snark at Eric about being all sitting in front of a computer screen with Bill being a big problem for the “poor fella”. GO SOOKIE! I’m happy to see she’s okay, but slightly sad the next book will be our last with her. ;(

I’m going to miss the hell out of Dermot, since he was such a sweetie pie, but he had a good ending there. Claude had a good ending for me of course, rather than for Claude. Bellenos and Gift amused me too. I’d totally let them hunt in my woods…or possibly my local 7/11 since I don’t have woods. I’m sure there’s beef jerky and yummy teenagers to throw spears at. I did like Bellenos’ one last troll, scraping his teeth against Sookie’s cheek.

I adored Mustapha – I’ve got to think some more about him, and I was really happy Warren lived. And Bill saved the day. Yay Bill! Although un-yay Bill for disapproving of Kennedy killing a man who was beating her. Mr. “Vampires are like leopards and hunt, Sookie” is in no position to cast stones. Such an old fashioned stick in the mud. How can he work computers, and still look down on girls like Kennedy is beyond me. I think he needs to get battered verbally on some feminist website all about how we don’t judge women for not fitting stereotypes and having the right to stand up for themselves. Until he has less selfishness and more of a social justice mindset that exists so far for Vampire-Bills only.

The theme of this book was about how we live with choices over the years – from being a girl like young Kennedy to being like Jane Bodehouse; and the vagaries that life throws at people – Tara being a mother, Quinn and Tijerin being parents, and wanting two roles, Keshawn changing his role models, and also about the duality of people – Eric having the choice of two lifestyles, T-Rex wanting two lifestyles, JB wanting two lifestyles.

And I too, am worried about Eric’s beautiful coffee table and its new gouges. 😀 Damn Felipe, the callous bastard. Punishment so far: coffee table damage and the King staying in town. See how you don’t get to sneer at people, even if they’re in capes, and must obey your King. Oh yeah, being a vampire’s a fucking laugh riot.

I thought about speculating on fanfic, but since nothing has changed, expect more of the same as last time. Sookie will need to kowtow to Eric for another year in fanfic. The only added bullshit will be Sookie and Freyda entering into some sort of completely stupid deal to share Eric, and Sookie totally taking the blame for it and not being worthy of his love. Or Sookie getting left. With enough emotional beatdowns and grovelling to make five well-balanced teenagers start cutting themselves because they foolishly think of themselves as having self worth. Great role models you are ladies! I’d hate you a little bit if I thought you were doing this on purpose, but I think it’s sad you can’t write self worth because you have none and would put up with any old shit for a pretty face and a good fuck.

So, I thought as celebration, I’d try to list the ways I was right – and wrong – about my speculations for Deadlocked. I can’t promise it’ll be a comprehensive list. I’m just skimming my posts because they’re old news.

The cluviel dor was used for something personal and immediate. PMR WINS.

Cluviel dor would not be a deus ex machina. PMR WINS

Sookie will not see that she has to fight for Eric’s love (because that’s not what the point is). PMR WINS.

Claude wanted the portal reopened and was sticking close to Sookie to make that happen PMR WINS however, I did not predict he wanted to kill Niall. PMR LOSES.  I had Dillon pegged for that one. It still might be Dillon pulling the strings, but we’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter.

Dermot was a good guy right up to the end PMR WINS. However, as it turns out, he was welcome in Faery. PMR LOSES.

Dillon did not curse Dermot. PMR LOSES.

Felipe was not coming to Shreveport to pat Eric on the head for being a good boy and killing Victor. PMR WINS.

Eric was spying on the Weres. PMR WINS.

Someone (Jannalynn) was spying on Mustapha PMR WINS however it wasn’t financial gain for the spy, it was finding leverage to get him to do stuff to compromise Eric. PMR LOSES.

Hot Rain did no appearances – PMR LOSES.

Sookie will put her foot down sooner with Eric’s bullshit PMR WINS.

Eric isn’t going to change into boyfriend/waiter, dote on Sookie’s every word and deed and has a job, and will continue to produce said bullshit. PMR WINS.

Sookie will be more selfish, and start saying No to arseholes PMR WINS.

Neither Felipe nor Freyda were behind Kelvin and Hod. PMR WINS.

FotS has not risen, but is targeting Eric as a killer. TO BE DECIDED.

Eric has never fed solely on Sookie. PMR WINS.

Sookie pointedly doesn’t ask about Eric’s fidelity – she’s all daring and just trusts him. PMR WINS.

Eric can be occasionally – ie. once every book – a royal dick. PMR WINS.

Freyda wants Eric for herself, however, anyone who believes everything is on the surface with vampire royalty and they tell you out loud what their plans are (Felipe’s promise to pledge vampire protection being a rouse for getting her to Las Vegas anyone?) is short sighted. Vampire royalty don’t tend to be upfront with their machinations. So I’m still TO BE DECIDED.

Eric will be Freyda’s Consort, not her King PMR WINS.

Mr. Cataliades was not thinking about the trouble a human would have with telepathy and had no sinister motives. PMR WINS.

Mustapha Khan reinvented himself, and was a parallel to Sookie reinventing herself. PMR WINS.

Amelia was not the bad guy, just a bad friend. PMR WINS.

Felipe would not make Eric Regent and will play political chicken with Eric. PMR WINS.

Sookie would not set herself up as telepath for hire. PMR WINS.

The books would not be substantially lighter in tone because it’s a series. PMR WINS.

Sookie would not rashly “fight for her man” and be a dickhead. PMR WINS.

Eric acts like a wanker when he’s been rejected – or what he perceives as rejection – or in the face of possible future hinted rejection. PMR WINS.

Sookie inserting herself into the Jannalynn dealio would not sort out her issues with Jannalynn. PMR WINS.

Sam is not a bad guy just because shifters have a database. PMR WINS.

Sookie would not get back with Bill, their relationship is now a friendship, and Bill would not die. PMR WINS.

Weres do not smell like wet dog. PMR WINS.

Bellenos would not physically hurt Sookie. PMR WINS.

I thought the hounds after Mr. Cataliades were hounds PMR WINS, but they weren’t from Faery PMR LOSES.

Sookie would value her human contacts instead of realising she’s a supe. PMR WINS.

Sam is STILL her best friend.
Eric and Sookie STILL have commonalities that go beyond just blond hair and blue eyes.
Bill is STILL out of the running.

Now, until I read some fanfic/someone comments here that makes me angry enough to spit – and thus write a journal post about it – the plan is like so – the state of Eric and Sookie’s relationship, and what I squeed over; then to Sam and his death and life, and why he is still her best friend; and that’s as far as I’ve planned so far. Just know that both of my explanations for it will require a full post, so don’t try to get spoilers in the comments. It’s not happening. Now’s your time to sound off in the comments, crowing that you read Deadlocked.

Fuck. Already another year to wait. It’s two days already CH – I’m dying here! Write faster!